Sat with his head in his hands, Sam took in a long deep breath as he attempted to calm himself down. As much as he might have tried to tell himself that he didn't care about his ex, Sarah, that she could set herself on fire and he'd not piss on her to put her out, the reality was quite different. He loved her, part of him would always love her, no matter how much he might have tried to run from the truth. Before he had met her, he had never seen himself settling down, he had never seen himself with another. Hell, the thought of even having a girlfriend for more than 6 months, brought him out in hives, and yet with her, it was so different. Of course, he could quite easily have claimed that it was simply because she was a pretty face, but it all went so much deeper than that. Sure, she was damn fine to look at, but she was also funny, intelligent, and goddamn infuriating, all in equal measures. So much so, he couldn't exactly stand her the first few times that he had met her. He had thought her to be a stuck-up swot. Still, as he stared down at the picture of an ultrasound on her Instagram page showing that she was pregnant with the guy she had cheated on him with, his feelings told a different story. Unable to take his eyes off of the picture as he sipped from the glass of his sixth or seventh large rum, he felt his stomach awkwardly twisting and turning, threatening to overwhelm him once more. A sensation that was forcing him to acknowledge the fact that whether he wanted to admit it or not, he had loved that woman so much that he had moved as far as he had, just to get away from her when it had all ended. Still, as much as he had hoped that time would have healed at least some of his wounds by now, the hurt was as fresh as the day that he had found her in bed with their friend. A friend that she was now settling down and having a family with, instead of him. Draining the last of his glass, he pushed it across the bar, away from him. Pulling some notes out of his wallet, he slapped them down on the counter before pocketing his phone and heading out into the cold, night. Placing one foot in front of another, Sam barely registered where he was going as he drunkenly staggered through the streets of Mercy Cove, lost amongst his thoughts. She should just use the car service. Sebastian had insisted she do so enough times, that she really should. But every time she'd pull out her phone and stare at the number? Jules would find a way to talk herself out of it again. The list of excuses had grown so long, they were barely worth mentioning anymore. They were, however, the very reason she was moving through downtown Mercy Cove, late at night, when anyone with good sense would be in the comfort and safety of a chauffeured car. Jules did what she usually did when walking alone at night; Head down, pace brisk, avoid eye contact at all costs. She probably looked like a rabbit in a maze full of foxes, but this time of night? The foxes were usually too drunk to try chasing game. But for a miscalculated dodge and weave that very nearly saw the pair of them collide, Jules might not have even noticed Sam. Her arm shot out on warning as they wove into each other's paths. Her apology, automatic as if she'd been to blame. It was only a brief moment where she allowed her gaze to flicker up to his, but it was enough for recognition to flash in her eyes. "Sam?" Moving down the cold sidewalks of the town centre, Sam found himself quite lost in his own thoughts. Thought of what would have happened if he had been different with Sarah if he had acted differently with Sarah. Maybe they would have been the ones engaged now? Maybe they would have had a kid on the way before long if they didn't already. So engrossed in his thoughts was Sam, that he barely noticed he very nearly walked into someone. Stood for a moment blinking, he quickly came back to his senses when he heard a voice calling his name. "Ohhh Jules....hey" he lamely responded, unsure of what else to say. "Sorry, I didn't mean to get you like that........wait, what are you doing out so late?" ignoring the fact that he was out late himself. Swaying slightly from side to side, the alcohol from the evening chorusing through his body, he attempted what he hoped was a casual lean against the wall nearest to them. No sooner had she said his name than the scent of alcohol slammed into her. Lines formed between her brow as the corners of her mouth pulled downward. It's not that he wasn't a grown adult who was perfectly allowed to drink as he pleased, it just surprised her to Sam as one of them. Maybe it was because he was a cop. Like being one made him immune. Considering how little that applied to her own best friend, she should know better. Still, it just didn't feel right to see Sam this way. Jules immediately shook her head, dismissing his apology as unnecessary. A sheepish grin of her own, touching her lips at the question she'd been asking herself. "I just... finished work." Her shoulders raising in a shrug. As casual as he might have been playing it, Jules grew up with a mother who made a career out of feigning sobriety. His eyes gave him away, almost as much as his use of a wall to prop him up. "I pick up shifts at Dockside Catch. Further from home but the tips are better." She adjusted the strap of her bag, moving out of the middle of the footpath to speak with him. Ignoring the fact that if she wanted to he home any time soon, she should really make a move. Seeing him like this, however, she didn't feel right leaving him. "Are you... headed home yourself?" "Such a nice night thought I would go out for a walk" he lied, gesturing at the cloudy looking darkened sky. It was hardly as though he could say, actually, my ex is pregnant with the guy who she cheated on me's baby, and I can't stand to be alone, at home. No, it was far easier for him to try and lie his way through this than try and put it on the shoulders of someone so young and sweet as Jules. Looking at the time on his way, before looking back at her, Sam felt his stomach twist uncomfortably. As safe as Mercy Cove might have been, he still didn't like the thought of someone as sweet and innocent-seeming as Jules, walking alone. "Can I walk you to a bus? Or a Taxi rank or something?" he asked her, not wanting to come across as being too overbearing, but not feeling good about her being alone late at night, regardless of what his mental state might have been at that moment. It wasn't even a good lie. The sort of failure Jules might have told, but she could forgive him the lies he needed to tell her to keep his secrets. God only knew she was guilty of that often enough. Much like him, she was equally bad at it and she didn't need alcohol to help her along. "Maybe a little cold for it." She gently nudged. God knows she was freezing. He couldn't be much better off than her, only with drinking he probably couldn't feel it. It couldn't be much above 40 (4c) degrees. Not freezing yet, but damn near. Here he was, trying to look out for her but she was more worried about him. The gears turned in her head as she pondered how best to move forward. Not sure he'd take kindly to her fussing, but there was no way she was just going to leave him like this on a night that would drop below freezing. "The next bus isn't for a good while." The answer formed easily because it wasn't exactly a lie. The next bus wouldn't be until tomorrow morning. That was about as far away as you could get. "I thought I might kill time until then..." Maybe just this once, she would get that car service, but not until she was sure he was alright. "If... you maybe... want to join me?" It wasn't smooth at all, but smooth wasn't a requirement when the person you were talking to needed a wall to remain steady. Laughing slightly awkwardly, he ran a hand through his hair, looking awkward as he did so. Of course, rationally he knew it was cold, but there was just no way on earth he could face the thought of being stuck in his house all night on his own. No, nothing good would come of him being stuck alone, drowning in his emotions. So, instead, he tried his best to focus his attention on Jules and the fact that she was wandering around far later than she should have been. "If you need some fresh air, I can always walk you most of the way back to yours, if you'd like" he offered, looking up and down the empty street. Whether she was waiting for a bus or not, it probably wasn't for the best for her to be standing around at this time of night. As much as he knew that she was more than capable of taking care of herself, he wouldn't feel good about simply leaving her, no matter how much he wanted to be on his own. It was almost too easy, and it wasn't lost on her that even after drinking, he was still being that guy. That rarely experienced by Jules, good guy that she'd always seen every time they spoke. It made a small smile play across her lips as her chin dipped. Jules tucked a piece of hair behind her ears as she tried not to dwell on that warm, fuzzy feeling that stirred in her chest. There just weren't that many people who went out of their way to be decent. It made her even more determined to make sure that he was okay, and this made that, a whole lot easier. "Sure." Bobbing her head. The acceptance of his offer, coming far easier when she had her own motives for wanting his company. She wasn't allowing him to help her. He was inadvertently allowing her, to help him. The fact that she liked being around him, was just an added bonus. "Maybe we'll even get lucky along the way. Find somewhere open that has coffee." Yet even knowing that she wanted him to come with her, she couldn't help but add; "If you want, anyway." Grateful that she seemed to agree to his idea without too much argument, a small smile crept across his lips for the first time that night. Not typically an unsociable person, the company given his current mood would most certainly be appreciated by him. Perhaps it had not been one of his better ideas to get stupidly drunk and then go for a walk in a town that he was still trying to get to know. Then again, he was hardly known for making great decisions at the best of times. Looking up at the air for a moment, he turned around a few times, trying to get his bearings before he pointed off in the direction that was sure would eventually take them to Waverly Downs. "Sorry, just took me a minute, there" he grinned apologetically at her. God, it suddenly felt like he had drunk far more than he had originally thought. "Wanna lead the way, m'lady?" he asked, offering his arm out towards for her to take if she wanted. That smile caused one of her own to echo it. Jules, relieved to know that she could see him - well, perhaps not home safely, but well on his way to sobering up. And perhaps she could even admit that while she might have refused the company had it been entirely for her own sake. She was glad for it now. Most assumed that she was typically unsociable. The truth was that being so had been done out of necessity rather than desire. She wasn't sure whether to grimace or laugh as he tried rather unsuccessfully to orient himself. Jules not quite sure how to break it to him, but then he was offering her his arm and she was once again struck by how unlike most men around here Sam was. He was genuine. Well mannered. Good hearted. He was all the things that too many people in this world - or at least her own - failed to be. "I think that might be for the best, kind sir." Circling her hand around his bicep - oh wow... okay - as she took the offered arm... and then she turned them. Not a full 180, but enough to have them facing Waverly Downs, now. "You were close." Enjoying the warmth that he emitted as she set off with him in an easy pace. "Do you open doors and tuck in chairs as well?" Choosing to keep the conversation light for the moment. Offering him a distraction from whatever that was that saw him drinking alone and wandering the streets at night. About to take a step forward, pushing on down the street, Sam felt himself being stopped and turned around. Light colour flushing across his cheeks, he offered her a sheepish grin as he realised that he very nearly took them off in the wrong direction. It was a good thing that she was here, really, or god only knows where he might have ended up when he tried to walk home himself. Still, there was no point in dwelling about what might have been. Right now, he has positively delightful company, and that was exactly what he needed to try and keep out of his head. Placing his hand on top of her for a brief moment, he gave it a small tap before the pair I'd them continued off into the night. Keeping half an eye out for trouble as she walked and he stumbled, a coy smile crossed his lips at her comment about manners. Laughing, he slowly nodded his head. "I indeed do. My Mama raised me to be a gentleman, she's from an old southern family and would give me a whack for my efforts if I didn't do it as a kid. After all these years, I think it has just become a habit, you know?" Her grip on his arm tightened a little, as if she might be able to steady him. As if Jules, standing at all of 5ft1, could possibly keep Sam from tipping over. She felt her own lips quirk upward at his laughter. The sound of it, capable of clearing the storm clouds that seemed to hang around her. As much as she told herself she was doing this to ensure that he was alright? She couldn't deny that she enjoyed his company as well. He made her forget, at least for a little while, that she didn't have a million problems and unanswered questions. "You can tell your Mama she did a very good job." Jules all but getting a crick in her neck as she turned her head and angled it up so she could look at him; Jules wishing that one word, 'Mama' sounded half as good passing as her lips as it did his. It was his accent she realized. That slow Texan drawl. It made him sound charming even when he wasn't trying to charm her. "I don't think I'm supposed to like chivalry in the 21st century, but I do." She was not, and would never be that much of a feminist where she wouldn't enjoy a door being held for her. It was perhaps the only sort of thing you could do for Jules, that she wouldn't try to reject. Making his way down the sidewalk, Sam tried his best to keep his balance and not veer into her as he walked. She was so sweet and innocent, the last thing she needed was to have to deal with an overgrown baby like him who had drunk too much because he couldn't face dealing with his feelings. No, now was the time to try and be a better person here. Looking sideways at her, his smile grew all the more brighter as she referenced his Mama. "I'll have to let her know the next time we speak. She's convinced I've probably got lazy with it since I moved out this way" he responded with a soft laugh, shaking his head. "Ohhh tell me about it, I feel constantly caught between wondering whether I should do what I am used to doing, or whether someone might see it as being patronising" he explained before giving his shoulders a small shrug. "I always think though, if you enjoy something, you enjoy something. We're all different for a reason, and there is no point in apologising for something that you enjoy" He had the kind of smile, that every time he turned it on her, Jules own grew brighter. The muscles in her face, protesting the action like they weren't used to being worked this hard. His unashamed love of Christmas had already convinced her that he must have come from a good family. Hearing how he talked about his 'Mama' though, damn it if it didn't make her heart swel a little more than it should. "If I ever get the chance to tell her, I'll assure her you're nothing but a gentleman." Even after one too many drinks, he hadn't lost that part of himself. No personality change after hitting the bottle. Maybe that shouldn't seem like such an important thing, but for Jules, it was. Her other arm crossed her body, holding onto him with both hands as they walked the streets of Mercy Cove. Offering him more support while perhaps stealing a little more of his warmth as she fell into the cadence of his Texan drawl. "Then I don't think you should be worried about if you're being patronising or not. You just be you and they'll either appreciate it or they won't." Maybe from some men, it would have seemed that way, but from Sam it always seemed sincere. Not like he was trying to impress or win her over. Just because he thought it the right way to be. "Muchly appreciated," he grinned at her, fully aware that he probably sounded like a complete and utter Mama's boy at that moment. Who cared though? His Mama was a wonderful and fierce woman who had always instilled a strong set of values in him from the moment he was old enough to speak and understand. He was proud of how all of that had made him the man he had become today. "Ahh, well, I figured out a way around that," he said waving the finger of his free hand quite energetically as he spoke. "I figure, if I hold doors open and do chairs like that for everyone, regardless of gender or whatever, then nobody can accuse me of being patronising. Because then it's just something that I do for everyone". Perhaps it was a little overkill, but in his head, Sam thought that it was a good idea at least. Moving down the cold street for a few moments in quiet, he turned his head slightly to look at her. "So, am I allowed to give you the 'you should probably not be walking alone at this time of night' lecture? Or, will I be beaten to death for it? Just wanna check, because I've had a few to drink and I am not sure that I could take you in any sort of fight at the moment" he teased her gently, giving her a slight nudge with his shoulder as they walked together. Not to Jules, but then. He spoke of his mother the same way she spoke of her father. With a mix of reverence and respect. There was nobody that would deny that Jules had always been a Daddy's Girl. It was a badge she wore proudly and if he was to be considered a Mama's boy? Then it was only going to make Jules more inclined to like him. "I imagine that has... some interesting results." A little sparkle shining in her eyes as she tried to imagine Sam holding out a chair for his Chief of Police... or Shay, for that matter. "Though I assume niceties are dispensed with at the door to an interrogation room?" Her question more tongue in cheek than it was serious, mind you. She really should have known that this was coming, though she might be willing to concede that Sam did it in a way where she didn't feel the surge of dread. Jules making a small show of thinking it over before she offered; "We could always not, and say that you did?" Lecture her she means. A smile caused the corner of her mouth to twitch, Jules hugging his arm a little tighter. Night trying to cling to him like a monkey but rather instinctively leaching warm from his body. "How about... I promise not to fight you... if you tell me why you're drinking alone this late at night." Her words softening as the question left her lips, wanting to make it a question he could choose to answer or not, rather than an expectation of one. "Ohh, I am positively grumpy when I go into the interrogation room" he responded, attempting to give her his best angry looking face. Unfortunately for him though, with the amount of alcohol that was in her system, it was near impossible for him to try and keep his face straight. His face dissolving into a large grin, he shook his head before looking sideways at her. "I wouldn't say that I do away with niceties at the door. I mean, I know that I am probably a little sterner than I might normally be, but I'm very rarely without manners. After all, our system believes in innocent until proven guilty, and you're more likely to earn their cooperation regardless of if you are still treating them like a human being" Opening and closing his mouth a few times, his smile dropped from his lips at the question that she fired back. Looking down at his feet, he let out a small, pained noise, before running a hand through his hair, trying his best to compose his drunken, fractured mind. "Now that is a simple question, with a far more difficult answer" he responded honestly, before finally turning his head to look at her a little better. "My ex Sarah....she cheated on me when we were together, and now she is pregnant with the kid of the guy she cheated on me with. It left me feeling a little........crap for better lack of words" Alcohol or no, she never could have taken him seriously when he suggested that he was grumpy. Jules couldn't even think of a time where she'd seen Sam remotely cross, let alone the angry cop cliche she only knew from bad television. That he was a cop didn't surprise her. He was the kind of person who seemed to legitimately want to help people. It was the dealing with hardened criminals she struggled to imagine. No sooner had she thought all this, than he was proving her right. The corner of her mouth twitched with a knowing smile. A little nod of her head to show that none of this surprised her. There were very few people Jules had ever met that she considered being genuinely good. Where she found herself listening to that instinct that said she could trust them. Perhaps when she'd first met Sam, she'd been a little nervous, given his job and all but in the last six or so months, since he'd been in town and Shay had been working for the MCPD? He'd yet to do anything to prove that instinct wrong. It was why she could work with him while he'd been drinking in the middle of the night, without a knot forming in her stomach. Why she didn't hesitate to take his arm and drop her guard, at least for a little while. "I imagine after a while a lot of people in your job get jaded." God only knew that part of her was and she was only twenty. "I'm you're not." That he still believed in right and wrong. In innocent until proven guilty. In the simple fact that everyone, no matter who they were or what they'd done, deserved manners and a basic level of respect. Jules was normally so careful when asking probing questions. Knowing full well that she was opening herself up to the same, but in all her imaginations of what had led to meeting Sam tonight, she hadn't expected him to say that. She'd thought maybe he'd caught a tough case, or he was missing his family back in Texas. She'd thought a thousand things but that he had a girlfriend that would cheat on him? In response, Jules grip on his arm tightened. Like she could take away the hurt that was now peeking through from overwhelming him. It was that pained sound that got to her. A sound that lodged in her chest and made her heart ache. A sound that just seemed wrong coming from a man who had always been the light in any room he walked into. "I shouldn't have asked - I'm sorry." Her sincere, apologetic tone made it clear that she wasn't sorry he had told her, but sorry that she had forced him to dredge it back up. "I could tell you that she's an idiot, and no matter what she's worse of for what she did because she doesn't have you in her life anymore. Or... that it's okay to be sad, and hurt... and maybe even a little heartbroken for what could have been." Her gaze flickered up to his, Jules wishing that with a single look she could make him feel better. That she had the experience or understanding to be able to say whatever he needed to hear to be reminded he wasn't alone, but she'd never been brave enough to let somebody close enough to cause that kind of hurt. "Or you can just... ask me anything you want, so you don't have to talk about it." "Yeah, a lot of people do tend to get a little disheartened after a little while. I mean, it's hard not to with some of the things that I've seen over the years. What I try and do though is for every bad memory that threatens to consume me, I try and focus my mind on sometimes when I did genuine good, when I helped improve someone's life for the better. Then I remind myself, if I wasn't doing the job I was doing, there would be a lot darker out in the world. It's cheesy as hell, I realise, but it's how I get by during bad days" he shrugged off, as though nothing he had said was any sort of big deal. Perhaps that was just the way that he had been brought up, but he always had a pretty black and white view of right and wrong. Still, there were days like today, when things hit him, and he struggled to keep as much as the dark out as he would have liked to. It was so easy to do it in his job, and far more difficult to do in his personal life unless he was actively engaging with helping the community. Offering her a small reassuring smile, he shook his head at her, not wanting her to feel bad because she had dared to return the question he had asked of her, right back at him. "It's fine, honest" he attempted to reassure her, appreciating the feeling of the soft hand squeezing his arm, making him just feel a little better than he had. "Most of the time I am ok with it, just now and then on days like today, just kinda knocks me a little more than others. Once upon a time I was sure as anything I was going to marry that girl, bought the ring and everything, but sometimes fate just has a different path for us. I mean, it brought me here, and I wouldn't be standing with you right now if she hadn't have cheated, so it couldn't be all that bad" Perhaps it was a strange way of looking at it, but he had so often tried to tell himself that if there was anything about his life that he liked now, then he could regret anything in the past because everything that happened had brought him to this moment, exactly as it was. "Don't worry, Jules, I won't be prying in your business too much. I got a sister of my own, and I'd just like to think that if anyone saw her out walking at this hour, they'd make sure she was ok and she got to where she was going, alright" "I don't think it's cheesy." And it wasn't just something she was saying to be nice. She meant it. Just as she believed he meant everything he was saying. She quietly envied him if she were honest. The way he could still see the glass was half full. How even in the bad, he could find good everywhere he looked. And he had no idea how amazing that was. How uniquely special he was in her eyes for it. How just by being the way that he was, he made it impossible for anyone not to like him. It made her all the more worried to know that whatever was going on, was something he couldn't find a silver lining in. That it must have been truly awful to send him out drinking alone when he surely had a whole lot of people who would have gladly joined him. Hearing what it was, though? God she'd be kicking herself for a long time to come. Wishing she could have just kept her mouth shut now, let him bring it up if he wanted to. "No, it's not." Her voice gentle as she slowed them to a stop so she could move to stand in front of him. She knew a thing or two about dismissing her feelings. About trying to bury them so deep she didn't have to process them at all. Maybe she and Sam weren't the same, but she didn't want him doing that with her. Pretending just to make her more comfortable. She knew how badly that ended up for the pretender. "I mean..." She shook her head, her gaze dipping from his face. Her arm still partially looped around his, even as she stood before him. "I think it's amazing that you can... say it all happened for a reason." That he could even try and make her feel good by suggesting one of those reasons was so that he could chat to her. She knew what she wanted to say, but she didn't know how to say it to him. Didn't know how to show him that it was okay to feel whatever he needed, without sharing a little something of herself. That was how Jules was, though. She could never be open with somebody without a reason, but a reason like this was a pretty good one. "I guess, I just mean..." Not that being open came easy for her. "I know a little something about pretending for people so they don't have to feel awkward. So you're not, burdening them with the things in your head." Her half-smile, a little sheepish. Maybe a little uncomfortable because she knew she was sharing something about herself that she liked to think, people didn't know. "What happened. Even if you can find the good." Which - she looked at him for a moment like he was some strange creature. Because who could go through that, learn what he had, and still be looking for the good? "It's not fine. And it... sucks it happened." There was just something about her saying sucks that seemed ridiculous. "So while I'm not sorry that what happened brought you here, I'm still sorry it happened, because you deserve better." But she couldn't make him talk about how he was feeling unless he wanted to talk about it, and she wouldn't dare pry anymore than she had already. She just needed him to know that he had at least one person who wasn't worried about awkward or uncomfortable topics. She only cared about helping him, whatever form that took. Of course, he then brought up his sister and it hit her... that was why he was walking her home. Not that it should really have been surprising to her. She'd decided already he was just doing it because he was a good guy and because Shay might have yelled at him if she'd heard he hadn't. But that he thought about his sister when he thought about her? Maybe she should be grateful that he didn't just think of her as a kid? "There's not a whole lot to pry into for me. I had work. I don't have a car and busses don't really run this time of night. Hardly seems worth it to spend tip money on a cab when I could just walk." The moment the words had left his lips, Sam wished that he could quickly snatch them back out of the air between the pair of them. He had not meant to be quite as honest as he had with her tonight, the words had just spilt from his mouth without a second thought. He could blame the alcohol as much as he wanted at that moment, but the truth of the matter was that he was hurt and lonely that evening. He desperately had needed someone to listen to him and tell him that it would all be ok. Perhaps it was bad of him to inflict his poor mood on Jules, but he was desperately trying to keep his mood lifted as much as humanly possible. It just so happened that she had touched a sore spot for her, and he was too vulnerable to even think about holding back from her. Pulling her a little closer towards him, he gave her a small squeeze, grateful more than words could say to have her beside him right then. "I....I completely accept what you say, but I....I have to try and stick to that thought process as much as I can. I know it might seem dumb, but it helps me keep going when things are tough, like today" Moving down the sidewalk in silence for a few more moments, Sam found himself getting lost in his thoughts. He began to slowly wind down the same path that he had found himself wandering and down so many times since they had split. Could he have done anything differently? What if he worked less than he had? Would things have been any different if he had maybe taken a vacation or two more with her? Still, there was no point in torturing himself over what-ifs, especially not when he had a real, very pretty woman with him right now. "You know I could give you a lecture about walking around late at night and how dangerous it is, right?" he grinned at her, quirking an eyebrow at her. "I mean, do you even have a licence?" She didn't think he was inflicting anything on her, nothing she hadn't welcomed, even invited in the first place. In many ways, it mattered to her that he wanted to tell her the truth, instead of pretending like everything was okay. It wasn't lost on her that such thoughts made her an undeniable hypocrite. But then, she never said that she would have liked herself if she'd ever met her. Understanding flashed in her eyes at his words, causing Jules to shake her head. Instantly dismissing the notion that anything was wrong with what he'd said. "It's not dumb, Sam." It made sense to her in ways she doubted he could appreciate. Sometimes you just had to cling to a particular narrative in order to move forward. "I'm glad you're here... and I very much like who you are. So whatever happened to bring you here and make you that way - I'm grateful for those things at least." Trying to be true to his narrative, though, in truth, it wasn't hard. All she had to really do was be honest, which was easier to be when he had been so honest with her. She promised herself she wouldn't push things further. Allowing him to decide if he wanted to talk about it, rather than prod the open wound. Instead she allowed the silence to hang between them. Her arm still looped through his. Drawing warmth from the proximity of his body as the cool of the night nipped at her exposed skin, leaving her cheeks and nose red. "What's to say I'm not the thing that goes bump in the night?" It was meant as a joke, but it didn't help that it was a little too on the nose for Jules. "You could. But it wouldn't change the fact that I need to work and need to get home." She was all too aware since that night she met Sebastian, that she was playing a game of Russian Roulette every time she did this. That one of these days, her luck would run out and then where would she be? No... where would Ella be? "I..." She grimaced a little. "Took drivers ed?" She could drive, technically anyway. "I still need to get enough supervised hours to sit for my license." And with Liz for a mother? That was never going to happen. Not unless she paid for it. She was sure she had people who would help, like Mandy, but she would never dream of asking her to give her time when she worked enough as it was, just trying to support herself and Ben. "It's just not a priority when I can't afford a car, insurance, gas." Busses were painful, but they worked. For everything else, she had two legs. "And it's not too bad most days. I don't do shifts at the Catch that often and I live close enough to Speedy's." "And I am mighty glad to have such beautiful company for this evening," he beamed brightly back at her, feeling the sadness that had been creeping into him earlier, slowly replaced with light as she worked wonders on lifting his spirit. Looking sideways at her as she made her joke about being the thing that went bump in the middle of the night, he laughed and shook his head at her. He was about as sure that she was a predator, as he was the jolly green giant. There was no way on earth that sweet, innocent Jules was anything that could even be remotely confused as being something that went bump in the night. "Well, if that is the case, then remind me never to piss you off for too long. Sounds like it might rapidly decrease my lifespan more than I am already capable of doing all by myself" Then she went and said something that made him mentally pause for a moment. He wanted desperately to frown at her, to chastise her for not having a safe and regular way to get home, but part of him couldn't bring himself to do it. He had driven to Waverly Downs for one call out or another there enough times to know it generally was not the location that people with a choice tended to live. It was an area filled with mostly honest people, just doing what they could do to try and scrape by some sort of living in this tough world. If she was living there, then of course it was unlikely she had much disposable cash left at the end of the month. "You know, if you ever wanted, I could happily help you get your hours up" he offered, as the sights of Mercy Cove began to rapidly disappear behind them. "I know it doesn't sort your other problems, but at least it'll give you options if your situation changed a little?" The corner of her mouth pulled up into a half smile; Jules in turn nudging him lightly with her shoulder. The grin wanted to take over her whole face, but she managed to wrestle it back. It didn't matter so much if she believed he meant it in any sort of special way. At least for a few moments, she still felt that way. Felt that gentle surge of warmth spread through her chest as her gaze flickered upward to regard him, before gently falling away again. Some people just made you feel lighter for having been in their presence. Like a balm for the soul, she thought. Sam had always done that for her. Soothing her worries just by existing in her orbit for the short time that he did. She felt the light smile that played across her lips, falter at his words. Flashes of the thoughts that had threatened to consume her with Mal, rising up to terrorize her. Jules forced a huff of laughter, needing to pointedly look away. Suddenly fascinated by something on the horizon. An inky shadow of a building set against the night sky. "If I were a smart monster..." Flinching inwardly at her own casual use of that word. Kolt insisted she wasn't. She would insist the same of him but that didn't change the fact that she'd spent years believing herself to be one. That her thoughts, feelings and cravings, weren't at times monstrous. "I'd know the key to survival is keeping nice men in law enforcement on my side." And women, but she supposed Shay might be the one person who would be on her side no matter what. "I think you're safe." Sam... if you only knew. If he hadn't given her proof every time she was around him, she'd wonder why he would make such an offer. Jules was starting to see, however, that to ask him would be an insult to him. He would do it because he was just nice like that. Because he wanted to help people in the community. Because he was the kind of person who would offer to come look at a stove, or walk somebody home, or even go hiking to a hot spring with them just to be nice. "I am sure there are people with for more pressing issues than mine, that you could spend your time helping instead." Not that she was ungrateful for the offer, but she wouldn't be inclined to accept it no matter what the intent was. Allowing people to help her never came easily to Jules and in so many ways, not having the hours felt less painful than having them, than having her license even, but not being able to afford the gas for a car, never mind a car and all that came with it? That was just a layer of stress and anxiety that would turn her into knots. "I really don't mind the bus, or walking. It gives you time to think." Because sure... what Jules the overthinker needed in life was more time to think. Was he flirting with her? Perhaps. Part of him felt guilty for swinging from going from being upset about his ex to lightly flirt with Jules, but she had always just made it so easy for him. She was so sweet and kind, and even though she had a stubbornly independent streak a mile wide that seemed to go through her, that annoyed her, he found himself admiring her. Still, he was quite easily way too old for her, and he knew he had to temper it down a little. The last thing he needed was to go from that nice guy who helped her out from time to time, to a lecherous old pervert. Trying his best to shrug that thought from his mind, he instead focused on what they had been talking about, responding with light banter to hers. "Well, in hopes that I fulfil your criteria of a nice man in law enforcement, then I can certainly tell you that I am completely and utterly suckered by your sweet and innocent routine" he responded with a coy grin on his face as he did so. Smiling as he started to see the lights of Waverly Downs growing larger in the horizon, he gave her arm a small rub with his free hand, a feeble attempt at trying to keep her warm. "I don't blame you for enjoying the time to think, often the journey is the worthwhile part. Still, think about the number of opportunities you open up for yourself if you can travel further, a little more often. More than that, think of the freedom you would gain with that licence" He was at no risk of her thinking him a lecherous old pervert, and that wasn't just because he was at no risk of her realizing he was flirting. The only age she saw was her own, and only because she suspected that he did. Most people did, at least in her experience of trying to navigate life. They treated her like she was this young, innocent flower who was too naive to understand the world around her. None of them realized that she'd lived ore by twenty than must had in twice that time. In fairness, Sam had never done anything to make her believe he saw her a child... but he did call her cute and sweet, which Jules assumed was the same thing. It was how you described a puppy or a little girl with pigtails. Not a young woman that you took seriously. He could have asked her on a date and she would have still thought he was trying to be nice and missed the significance. "My sweet and innocent routine." See? He thought she was a child. "Good to know I'm a better liar than I thought." Except that no, she was not. She was terrible at it. Which should have been his first clue that perhaps there was some truth in what she was saying. Jules sighed softly, because while his heart was in the right place and he was right about how potentially good it would be to have a license and a car? It was painfully obvious to her that he had no idea what it was like to grow up in Waverly Downs with no real hope of getting out. She subsisted off tips, which some months were barely enough to cover rent. She had Ellas clothes, food, after school activities to pay for, before she even looked at buying for herself. Any job she could do would pay at best minimum wage and that was barely a living wage. And of course none of this would help if there was a trip to the Doctor's to deal with. His heart was very much in the right place but people like Sam and Shay? They'd just never get it. It was the sort of thing that made her grateful to Mandy, because at least with her she didn't need to explain. "I'll think about it." She wouldn't and he probably knew that too. But saying she would, was better than having to spell out why it wasn't feasible. Wincing slightly as she referred to what she was doing as her sweet and innocent routine, Sam was once more reminded about just how wrong it was to look at her the way he had caught himself doing more than once. She was pretty, sweet and had the biggest heart, all completely admirable qualities and just the kind of thing he liked in his women. But as her comment reminded him, there was an age gap between the two of them, and he had a good 13 or so years on her. It wasn't overly appropriate for him to be looking at her the way he was, not when she wasn't even 21. Swallowing thickly for a moment, he continued to try and keep his attention on the scenery ahead, the lights of Waverly downs getting so much brighter now as they headed towards it. "I'm sure Shay has probably mentioned it, but there is a back-office admin job going at the Police Station. Nothing overly glamorous, just a lot of filing paperwork and that sort of thing, but the money isn't too bad. Might mean you don't have to hike over to Catch for some extra hours" he suggested, trying his best to be helpful, in the most sensitive way he could be. "Of course, the drawbacks would be that you would have to put up with me, and my atrocious handwriting from time to time, but I'd try and not annoy you too much" Here she was, just thinking she was reflecting his opinion of her in her choice of words. Jules never saw herself as particularly sweet or innocent. She wasn't a terrible person. She actually cared about those she allowed into her life and no, of course, she didn't want to see people miserable or hurt but she never thought that made her sweet. She just tried to show everyone, no matter who they were, the kind of human decency that not everyone in life had shown her. As for innocent? Maybe she'd have a better argument against that one if dirty jokes didn't eternally go over her head... ...Just as a man being interested in her did; Jules clearly oblivious to Sam's internal struggle as they drew closer to Waverly Downs. Enjoying the simplicity of his companionship, knowing she would have to part with it too soon. Jules glanced at him as he mentioned the job that Shay had told her about in passing. Uncertainty showing in her eyes as she was no sooner to knowing if it was a good idea now, as she was when Shay had mentioned it. A job like that could be life changing for Jules, she of course knew that. The possibility of health insurance alone would make it worth it. But... she'd been so careful all these years for a reason. Would taking a job at the Police Station really be a smart and safe move? "She might have mentioned it." Yet in spite of her worries, she couldn't help but smile at his so-called drawback. At the thought of maybe getting to work somewhere, she could see Sam and Shay more often. She just wished there was a way to be sure her, problem, wouldn't be a problem. "I don't really have any experience?" She pointed out, even knowing she was more than capable of filing paperwork and anything else that it entailed. Jules was far smarter than most people realized, college just hadn't been on the cards. "I'm sure there will be plenty of people that do, who would want the job." Because clearly, if she could talk herself out of it then she didn't have to think about how much better her life would be if she actually got it. Staring at Jules for a moment open-mouthed, it took a moment for him to slowly come to his senses. "She might have mentioned it and you've still not applied?" he asked, his face the picture of shock as he repeated what she had said. If she knew about it, why hadn't she applied? Apart from anything else, he knew Shay would be happier knowing her friend was not walking around late at night on her own. At least if she worked a few hours at the police station, she would be pretty much guaranteed to get a lift home with the number of squad cars typically heading in the direction of Waverly downs for one reason or another. Still, he was sure he had her reasons and he didn't want to push her too much. "Now I know you are trying to avoid me" he added with a grin and a gentle nudge of his shoulder against her, hoping she would not take offence at his words. And then it became obvious why she maybe didn't want to do it, he could hear the apprehension in her voice. "Jules, you've been working in customer service roles for years, don't you think that might give you the edge over someone else? They'll know you'll be able to hand the front desk and won't have a complete meltdown having to speak to the general public, that is an important skill you know" he insisted, trying his best to build her up a little. "Sam..." Not offended by his words, but she was suddenly worried that he might actually think that. Jules was so very earnest in her worry, despite his smile, that it was hard to imagine there was even an iota of truth to it. "Getting to work with you would be a big reason for me to want to do it." She heard her words only after they were out there, Jules cringing inwardly at how silly she must have sounded to him. Like some foolish school girl with a crush on a teacher that would never lead to anything. "And Shay." Because that totally covered it up. Who was she kidding? She loved everything about this job but she was just worried she was tempting fate with it. Like something that good couldn't come without something worse to follow it. But god he made it hard for her to cling to the idea that doing this would be a bad idea. Especially when she hadn't been entirely committed to it herself. She wasn't lying though when she said she didn't think she would be the most likely candidate to get hired, even if she did know that she could do it. "I take orders and pour coffee." She gently pointed out. "And manning the front desk of a Police Station is probably more dangerous than walking home at night." Though she was far from committed to that one. Not exactly concerned about her safety but unable to resist pointing that out to Sam. "And when you work at the police station, you'll probably still end up making the coffee. Instead of taking orders though, you'll be giving people paperwork to fill in and taking notes" he countered with a shrug, not seeing why she wouldn't think that she was qualified for a role like this. It was hardly as though it was rocket science, he was more than sure that she was capable of doing the job, without much effort. Besides, he was already more than sure that she would be popular down the station with everyone. "As for the danger side of thing, I would still wager Speedys is more dangerous than the police station. At least at the police station, you are surrounded by half a dozen armed people at once who would be watching your back, so if they are the best excuses you have, then you are going to need to think of something better" he teased with an easy grin before his face went a little more serious. "At least promise me that you'll apply. If it doesn't work out, then I promise I'll drop it and never mention another word on the topic" Jules teeth worked over her lower lip as she took in everything he was saying. Sam making it harder with every word he spoke, for Jules to cling to the foolish idea that she didn't want this and it wouldn't be good for. She'd have the opportunity to work more regular hours, allowing her to be there for Ella more often. She'd have have more money, reliable money that wasn't dependent on the generosity of strangers. Maybe she could even get Ella on the insurance plan which; that alone would make it worth it. It was change, however, and Jules never did particularly well with that. Speedy's wasn't perfect, but she knew the risks and how to work around them. The MCPD would be an unknown, even if she would have Shay and Sam. And then there was Sam and while she didn't understand why it mattered to him, he seemed to really want this for her. He had a counter for every argument she made and he was earnest. Like, this really mattered to him and Jules just didn't know how to say no when he was looking at her like that. She tried, opening her mouth to attempt another protest but she could feel her resolve fading. Jules, gently biting down on her lower lip as she looked at him, before feeling it leave her completely. "I'll apply." Some part of her still believed that she wouldn't actually get it. That in all of Mercy Cove there had to be somebody with the necessary skillset, who didn't look like she could be taken advantage of by every criminal in the building. Or maybe the Chief would just see her name, make the connection to Liz and he'd know it was too big a risk. Better to leave the position vacant than have somebody whose mother always seemed to come up when there were shady things going on. "I just... wouldn't go getting your hopes up, that's all." Perhaps it was the alcohol, perhaps it was something else, but the more that Jules spoke, the more that he felt compelled to say something to her. He knew it was bad the cop side of his head screaming at him that the last thing he needed to do was stop a girl late at night down some quiet street, in the middle of nowhere. Still, there was a much larger part of him that demanded that he talk to her properly, that he try and get across his point in a way that she could not dispute. Pausing and shifting so he was facing her, he wrestled with himself for a moment, before he eventually gave in. "If you're worried about working for the police station because you're........'special'.......you needn't worry, you know. I know Shay is human, but there are a few of us who are......different" he attempted to explain to her, trying his best to be as delicate as he could about it all. "Look I'm not asking what you are, you don't have to tell me, but you don't have to worry about hiding yourself from me, I can smell, it, I know," he said tapping his nose. "I'm....I'm a coyote shifter, nearly my whole family are" Both cautiously curious and uncertain, Jules tracked Sam as he moved to stand in front of her. Her long dark hair spilling back over her shoulders as she craned her neck to give him her complete attention. There was a flicker of confusion, lines creasing her brow and nose as she tried to wrap her head around what he was saying; Jules wanting to instinctively tell him that she wasn't 'special', as if rejecting a compliment or something. Then all the color drained from her face and Jules rocked back on her heels. Her heart spluttering as understanding shone in her eyes, moments before panic set in. She'd thought that nobody knew. That as long as she managed to hide the visible aspects of her nature, that she could continue to carry on as if nothing was different about her. That keeping the secret of what she really was would be easy, because nobody would truly know that she was anything other than human. That somebody would be able to tell just by looking at her, or in this case smelling her? Jules didn't know what was harder to process; The fact that he knew she was different or that Sam, the most normal guy she'd ever met, was, in reality, a Coyote Shifter. Something that until two seconds ago, she hadn't even known was a thing. "I..." She could feel her palms start to sweat, as her chest expande with the rapid rise and fall of each breath that she took; Anxiety twisting her features as she struggled to adjust to this shift in her reality. It wasn't Sam being different that shook her, it was him knowing that she was. It was Sebastian's warning about making sure she was careful to keep herself hidden. Sam knowing was different - a relief almost. But if Sam knew, then who else did? 'You can smell... that I'm not normal?" Even her choice of words, telling. Seeing the panic registering across her features, Sam felt immediately bad about telling her the way he had. He had desperately wanted to tell her in hopes that it might alleviate some of the concerns he thought that she might have had about it all. What he had not really thought through due to the alcohol in his system was that this was probably not the best way to tell her. He could have broken it to her far gentler than he had. Placing a hand on either shoulder, he gently encouraged her to calm, to not completely meltdown on him. "It's fine, Jules, honest" he attempted to calm her, trying to fix her with his usual warm grin. "Not all supes can sense everyone else. It's kind of a superpower of wolves and some shifters. Canines have a good sense of smell, and its something that is kinda still heightened for us when we are in our normal form" Running his hands up and down the sides of her arms so she wouldn't get too cold with them standing still. Feeling increasingly bad for even mentioning it, based ont he way she was reacting, he wanted desperately to reassure her, to try and show him that it was nothing to be ashamed of that he would not think of her any differently. "Jules, you don't need to panic, there's nothing wrong with it all, I promise you. I was raised a shifter in a decent sized shifter community. Whatever you are, you don't need to be shy, embarrassed or ashamed. It's part of what uniquely makes you, you" Already she could feel herself begin to shrink away from him. Almost as though she believed she could avoid the uncomfortable truth if she didn't get too close to it. But then his hands were on her shoulders. Steady and reassuring. Sam, completely oblivious to the pandora's box he'd just opened. It wasn't that he was different that had her this way. It wasn't even that he knew she was. Once she was able to get past this panicked state, Jules would see just how much better it was that he knew. It was everyone else that terrified her. It was Sebastian's warning. It was the thought that just by walking down the street, she could put Ella in danger. Wolves. She'd heard of those at least. Wolves and Shifters... and while she wasn't put off by it, some part of her brain still kept tripping over the fact that Sam was one of them. That he could turn into a Coyote? Odd... he didn't remind her of a Coyote in any way, but then her knowledge of the animal was limited to old cartoons that she used to watch with Ella. Jules had to shake her head to refocus her thoughts. Sam's touch, the only thing keeping her grounded in the conversation. That trickle of warmth as he rubbed her arms, trying to chase away the cold that wanted to settle like a block of ice in her gut. Dread. She needed to pull herself together. To focus her thoughts. To will her heart to slow because she could feel the telltale ache of her jaw. The girl inclined for flight, duelling with the other half of her that demanded she fight. "I'm not... like you." It didn't sound at all like rejection, or even as though she thought what Sam was, could be seen as bad. Rather that Jules thought her own existence to be the problematic one. She was a hypocrite, of course. Telling Kolt he wasn't a Monster while being certain the world would see her as one, but just as it had been with Mal? It truly mattered to Jules what Sam thought of her. "I'm..." and suddenly she became aware of where they were. The darkness of the street that wanted to swallow them. Of the very real likelihood of what was lurking out there. "I can't tell you here, it's not safe." She could walk through the streets of Mercy Cove alone in the middle of the night, yet Jules couldn't bring herself to even breathe the word Dhampir in case somebody overheard. Watching the way that Jules seemed to react to the things he had said, he found himself regretting bringing it up more and more. His words had been said in an attempt to be reassuring towards her, to show her that it was possible to work in that sort of job and be different. That those two things did not have to be mutually exclusive in any way at all. Instead though....well, if he didn't know better, he might have said that she seemed almost scared by his comment. That she was terrified or ashamed of anyone knowing what she was really like. Unsure of what else he could have said to comfort her in that moment, he went with one of the most basic responses that Sam was capable of. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her in for a tight hug, before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Jules, I am not trying to out you, you do not have to tell me shit, I know not everyone is super comfortable with talking about that sorta stuff" he explained, trying to make her see that it was not a big deal. "What you are is not going to change my opinion of you at this stage, so don't sweat it. I mean this in the best possible way, but I really don't care, its not who you are" It shouldn't surprise her that Sam was saying all the right things. This was exactly how she would expect him to respond. The problem was that she didn't think he was making this decision with all the facts at hand. She wasn't naive. She'd noticed that Mandy had been cautious when Jules had mentioned she had a Strigele helping her. Wary without even knowing who the man was or what he was like. Jules might not be Strigele, but she was more Strigele than human it seemed. Shifting into a Coyote was one thing... would he still feel the same way if he knew she craved blood? His blood? Before she could tumble headfirst down that rabbit hole, Sam was pulling her against his chest. His arms enveloped her as Jules finally realized just how cold she was. He was warm. Warmer than most people, she realized. Radiating a gentle heat that seemed to want to melt that block of icy dread in her gut. It wasn't Sam she didn't trust. It was the fear of who else would know that she was different. Who might find out what she was. And yes, if she were honest, there was still that fear that once she told Sam, despite what he said, he just wouldn't see her the same way. Jules was unsure at first how to respond to him. Simply allowing Sam to tuck her against his hard frame. Her arms hanging uselessly at her side as she focused on breathing in and out. She allowed the steady thud of his heartbeat to soothe her as her own slowed to sync with his. Until finally Jules pulled her arms up, resting them against his chest. "It's not you that I'm worried about." She murmured against his chest, desperate to keep her thoughts from spinning out of control again. Jules, wanting to tell him but smart enough to know that it couldn't be here. "It's..." She lifted her chin to meet Sam's gaze and was suddenly aware of how intimate this was. The two of them embracing in the middle of a dark alley. She wasn't naive. She knew he only meant to comfort her but it didn't change the fact that she was now very aware of all the places where their bodies touched. "I'm not like you..." Dropping her gaze as she felt the slight flush of pink crawling along her cheeks; Jules attempting to push those other thoughts aside, even if her complexion wouldn't cooperate. "I didn't grow up with it." It sounded like he had a whole family of Coyote shifters, while she had Shay and a lot of time spent on the internet getting completely lost. "I didn't even know what I was until a few months ago... I mean I still... don't really know what I am." She had a name for it, but that didn't mean anything. Wrapping his arms around Jules, Sam paused for a moment with his head nuzzled into her hair. Perhaps it was somewhat inappropriate of him to be acting this way, perhaps this was all some drunken mistake. Still, he would have regretted it and felt awful if he had kept his true nature quiet from her, especially if he was trying to insist that she should trust him. In his opinion, omission of truth was about as bad as lying when it came to things about himself. Of course he respected a persons right to have secrets, he just didn't believe in having too many secrets of his own. Pulling back to look at her, he too slowly began to become aware of the intimacy in their closeness, the way her small frame felt against his. Shit. Oh god how he wished he hadn't drunk as much as he had, because this was the perfect combo to give him the most awkward of physical reactions. The type of physical reaction he was quite sure would have her going to the police station, but to file charges for inappropriate touching, not a job application. Trying his best to think of football, baseball and about anything else he could think of, he took her step back as a opportunity to angle his hips away slightly. The thing that brought him back to reality quicker then anything though, was the clear apprehension and shame in her voice. Looking down at her, he used a hand to gently cup her face and encourage her to look up at him, before his hand dropped away. "You don't need to be ashamed. Like I said before, whatever you are, and let me stress, I really do not care in the nicest possible way, it doesn't define you. And if anyone tries to make it that way? They're the problem, not you" Jules barely had a chance to register that she was feeling something pressing against her before Sam took a step back. The sudden loss of his warmth left her momentarily bereft just as confusion twisting her features. A flicker of uncertainty in her hazel eyes, but she said nothing of course. Clearly, he'd noticed the unexpected intimacy of the moment as well and deemed it inappropriate. Jules just wasn't sure if she should be grateful or disappointed. Or perhaps a healthy amount of both. Instead of allowing her arms to fall uselessly at her sides once more, she wrapped them around her middle. Providing her own layer of comfort now that she had all but lost what she had in the warmth of his closeness. Perhaps it acted as a shield as well. A way to hold herself together. Because it seemed as though her life was filling up with men who wouldn't allow her to avoid their gaze. Jules could handle anything without looking at somebody but eye contact changed everything. It made her vulnerable in ways she always tried to avoid, but she was finding that she increasingly could not. Jules opened her mouth to protest but it was impossibly hard to do so when he looked and sounded as earnest as he did. The doubt still shone in her eyes, of course; Jules was clearly unconvinced, but she wanted to believe. She just couldn't allow herself to have hope. Not if there was a chance that she could be disappointed. She believed he meant it. That he meant every word of it but until he knew... She'd never done what she was about to do. Hell, she wasn't even sure if she was half-crazy to even try now, but she needed to know. It was one thing for him to say that he didn't care, but Jules needed to see that he meant it before she could allow herself to truly believe. And so she closed her eyes and thought about the hunger she so often felt but desperately tried to ignore. The heat in the back of her throat soon made her jaw begin to ache, but rather than try to restrain herself this time, Jules allowed her teeth to lengthen. The points of a pair of sharp fangs peeking out from her full, pink lips as she opened her eyes once more. She didn't have the words, but she had the truth. She just had to hope that he had truly meant what he said. As his eyes caught sight of her China white fangs, a look crossed his face. Rather then it being repulsion that she was likely expecting, the look instead was something closer to confusion. Working as a cop in the south, he had seen more than his share of Strigele's and things that generally went bump in the night. It was then, that a second thought caught him, he was sure that he had seen her during the day, bringing Ella into the police station to see Shay. Was this a recent thing? Was he already too late in his attempts to try and protect her from predators in the night? Perhaps this was why she had no fear of walking on her own, as the worst had already happened and there was nothing more to be afraid of. Pausing the conflicting thoughts in his mind for a moment, he tilted his head curiously to one side. No, he wasn't sure what it was, but he swore he had smelt something different on her, right from the first time that he had met her. It couldn't be a recent thing if he had always smelt that on her. No, he might not have had a word for what she was just yet, but that did not mean too much. He had met all types of shifters, fae and in between in his time. This was just that, something that fell in between that he simply did not have a name for just yet. His head tilting back upwards and looking at her a little more normally, a small smile crossed his lips as he looked down at her. "If you think that is enough to send me running, then I am awfully sorry to disappoint you by telling you that you've failed" he chuckled softly, shaking his head at her. "Now, come on, lets get you somewhere a little warmer, I'm sure you're probably freezing at this point" Of all the things that Jules figured Sam had been imagining, she very much doubted that he was expecting this. The brunette sure that once he saw for himself, it would change everything for him. Mal and Shay, they were different. Human. They didn't know all the ins and outs of the supernatural world. But surely growing up with it the way Sam had, there had to be part of him that was repulsed by a being who basically considered people to be part of the food pyramid. Instead, the confusion in his gaze was mirrored in her own as Jules watched the painful grind of gears with baited breath, bracing for the hammer to fall. She didn't dare breathe as he tilted his head, trying to reconcile what he had believed with what he was seeing with his own eyes. Every second she had to wait for him to say anything at all, pure torture. And then he smiled, like this was the most natural thing in the world and he could have punched her in the stomach and she'd have been less surprised. Jules teeth receded, disappearing from view as she was left there with her mouth open. Just as confused as he had been, though perhaps moreso, as she'd been so sure... "How are you so... whatever about this?" Not that she could argue the fact that she was cold, she was practically freezing at this point but she was too stuck on his reaction. Like she'd shown him an awkward photo of herself as a teenager and not revealed that sometimes she bites people for their blood. "You have to know what it means..." Even if he didn't know that she was a Dhampir, not a Strigele, surely he realised that those fangs had a purpose. Looking at the way that Jules seemed to react to his casual response to her fangs, Sam couldn't help but feel a little bad. While he knew well enough that not all Strigele were the beasts that people had painted them to be, he could only imagine the type of prejudice that she might have encountered or might have been fearful of encountering. In his opinion, there were bad apples among all species, there was no point in tarnishing them all, because of one or two misbehaving a little. "I'm a cop, you would not believe the type of things I have seen in my time" he shrugged off as though it was the most natural thing in the world. Sure, it had been a little surprising the first time or five that he had seen a Strigele having not really seen them growing up, but he had quickly gotten desensitised to it. Living one state across from Louisiana which seemed to be some sort of hub of Strigele activity, Texas tended to get a decent amount of them crossing through the state to ger there. Still, that was not the whole truth, and he knew it. Biting down on his bottom lip he found himself debating just how much he should tell her. Even though she was younger than him, she was hardly a child by any means. A hand moving to the back of his head, he laughed nervously and rubbed it for a moment, colour flushing his cheeks. "Also, I might have had a thing with this Strigele woman down in New Orleans for a short while after Rachel and before I made the move up here" he admitted, coughing to clear his throat. "Fangs can be hot" "That's not very comforting, you know." The things he had seen as a cop. Especially with him suggesting she take a job at the station - though her words were spoken in good humor. She knew Sam was older than her, of course. That with his job, age, and active knowledge of the supernatural world he must have seen a lot, but she wondered if he'd had all that much experience with Strigele for him to be so blase about it all. If perhaps, after spending a week with somebody like Sebastian, he'd be viewing her in a very different light. And then he went and dismissed any notions she had about him not knowing what Strigele were like. Jules cheeks going warm before she could even fully register his words. Flashes of Sebastian danced in her head at the memory of his teeth sinking into her flesh. The overwhelming rush of pleasure that coursed through her body without him even needing to touch her. Then she remembered Mal's response when she had bitten him, and her cheeks grew hotter still. All the air squeezing out of her lungs as though they were making room for the surging desire that rolled through her body. Jules blinked a few times, trying to rid her mind of the image of someone's teeth sinking into Sam's shoulder. The cold of the night was suddenly a welcome thing as she tried to wrestle her thoughts under control. "Oh." Her voice pitched a little too high; That attempt at casual interest sounding as feigned as it was. "So you... " Jules fumbled around for the words, her features twitching with the emotional indecision that was causing havoc in her head. "Wow." God and now she was picturing Sam with some drop dead gorgeous (mind the pun) Strigele and all the ways she helped him move past his ex; The color draining from her face as she still struggled for what to say. "That's um... good to know?" Cringing at the very words that had just come of her mouth. As much as Jules might have been cringing at the words that had come out of her mouth, he was cringing hard at the ones that came out of his. He really had not meant to reveal something like that in quite the way he had, a definite sign that as much as he wanted to believe he wasn't that drunk, the alcohol had definitely affected it. The part that normally existed between his brain and his mouth that would stop him from saying dumb shit, was clearly non-existent based on him revealing something as embarrassing as that to her. Coughing and allowing his cheeks to grow lightly red in the dimly lit street they were stood in, he took a step back from her before offering his arm once more. There was not far for either of them to go now, only a matter of ten or so more minutes and he would drop her back in Waverly Downs, before going to drown his embarrassment at the bottle of a half-drunk bottle of rum that he hoped was still tucked away at the back of his cupboard. "So urm....how long, you....known?" he asked her, pointing at his mouth with his free hand as if she wasn't going to guess that he meant about her supernatural status. His admission wasn't embarrassing, at least not to Jules. It was her immediate thoughts that were. The problem was that she got it. Oh how she got it, and she'd only been bitten by Sebastian that one night. It was the fact that she got it and now she was thinking about sex and Sam and her being able to do the very thing he just said was hot and god could it please start raining now or something because that would be less awkward than the hamster wheel that was her brain. "I mean I... get it." Because she felt like she needed to try and salvage this, even if it meant revealing more about herself than she wanted to. "I mean not that I have a lot of experience with that. But... you know." She was going to stop talking. That seemed like a really good idea. Talking would just turn her back into a tomato. "That I'm a..." She wanted to tell him. It was just a word after all, but it was a word that could be so very dangerous. Jules going so far as to look over her shoulder, like she thought she might find a Strigele waiting in the shadows for her to make the big reveal. "What I am... I mean I always just thought I was human. I'm pretty sure Liz is. I thought my Dad was..." Only one of her parents being gifted with the affectionate parental term. "I... I don't know it was Junior Year I guess? I started..." Again there was that shame that she wasn't sure she'd ever get rid of. Jules ducking her head just so she could spit the words out. "Getting these... cravings. And my jaw would hurt but I didn't really get it. I just thought... it was like some puberty thing, you know?' A weird and twisted puberty thing but weren't periods weird and twisted in a way? It's not like she had a present mother to educate her in such things, and by then, Jules was studying, working, and basically being a mother to a two-year-old. "Then there was this accident. Car accident. This girl got hit and I didn't really think it through I just ran over and tried to help..." She glanced at Sam then, guilt crossing her features as she tried to forge through. "I mean nothing happened, exactly - I didn't..." She didn't bite the girl, is what she was trying to say here. "But I wanted to. Every instinct I had was telling me to and that was when..." She motioned at her mouth, referencing the fangs she had shown him before. "That was a couple of years ago now and I'd been trying to figure out what I am ever since." God this was getting precarious for Sam, far more then he thought would be possible for what had started off as such a simple walk home. Had he have been a better person, then he might have tried to change the topic, done anything other than talk about the things they were right now. Unfortunately for him though, it had apparently been far longer than he had realised since he had last gotten anyone, because this talk was affecting him more then it should have been. She's not even fucking twenty-one, you pervert he had to try and remind himself. There was no way on earth that she, a stunning young woman like her with a body like that would ever look twice at him. She probably had her choice of guys her own age crawling all over her for the chance to take her out for a bit of dinner. Then, as bad as he thought things had gotten, she went and fucking agreed with him on the comment about teeth........fuck. "Oh yeah.......I know, nothing quite like that high" he nodded, doing his best to try and resist the urge to groan at the thought of the last time sharpened teeth had pierced his skin. Shit, this was enough to make him want to board the first flight he could back to Louisiana in hopes that he might run into his old friend. So, Sam found himself infinitely grateful when the conversation seemed to shift to something else altogether. Something far more manageable in his drunk and apparently very horny state. "There's nothing wrong with that happening" he tried to tell her in response to her story about the car crash. "I mean, if nobody told you that it might even have been a possibility, there was literally no way on earth for you to prepare for that" Pausing when he realised that it meant she would have been through a lot of this on her own, concern began to furrow his brow. "So all this, you telling me you've just struggled your way through all of this alone? Snatching a bit of blood when and if you can find it? Isn't that....I don't know.....fucking awful? I mean, I feel crappy if I go more then a few days without shifting into a coyote, even if its to stretch out on my couch and watch tv" "Yeah..." Jules a little breathless and hoping like hell he didn't pick up on it. If the woman he was with in Louisana was anything like Sebastian though? Just because she didn't trust herself to spend too much time with Sebastian the man, didn't mean that the night she'd spent with him, hadn't been a memorable experience. It was just afterwards where she felt like it wasn't right for her. If anything, physically, things had been a little too right. Perhaps that was why she latched onto the change in subject as quickly as she did. The topic of sex, not one that came easily for Jules, who couldn't even explain to Mal what to expect when she bit him. "You can say that... but at the time." She couldn't just switch off the memory of her horror. Of the hatred she'd felt toward herself. That moment was the reason why she'd never tried to get custody of Ella. Jules terrified that until she knew what she was an how to control it, that she might someday hurt her baby sister. Jules grimaced a little at Sam's words, realizing he didn't know quite how dire it had been. But really? What was her going as long as she did, when olt had deprived himself for longer than she'd been alive. "Not exactly..." The lines that creased her face deepening as her hands found each other. "I mean I didn't do that... at all. Not until very recently." And she wasn't sure twice actually counted as 'doing that'. "I didn't know what would happen so I just... didn't." She couldn't deny that it felt awful. That she was hungry now, all the time. Not the kind of hunger that could be sated by food, but for something so much more. "I've only done it twice... I'm still trying to figure out how long I can safely go without feeding but... yes. Is the answer to your question. It feels... not great." Pausing in his walking as she made that comment, he turned on his heel to look at her, a hand running through his hair. "Jesus Christ, Jules" he murmured, shaking his head in disbelief that she could have gone that long without feeding. Literally years of starvation, depriving her very core nature and needs. And there was him complaining he felt a little itchy if he went more then a couple of days without lounging around his house in his other form. All thoughts of the sexually conversation from before, apparently vanished into thin air, he let out a sigh as a more concerned tone took his voice. "Jules, you cannot test shit like that, not when you are such a young.......well, whatever you might be" he said looking around as though someone might overhear them at any given moment. "I've seen what happens when Strigele leave it too long between feeds, and let me tell you, its normally a pretty nasty looking crime scene" He had not meant to scare her, but at the same time, she had to realise just how serious this all was. It wasn't like she was skipping a meal here or there, she was literally denying her body of something that it needed and craved for weeks on end from the sound of things. "I know its not everyone's taste, but I can sort out blood bags and the like for you. I got a friend who knows a friend. You don't have to starve," When you were a person whose whole life, seemed to revolve around sacrifice in some form or another. You never realized when a sacrifice you were making would be seen as abhorrent to another. Depriving herself until recently, had been relatively easy, as she'd never known what she was missing out on. The instinct there, the bloodlust very real but as long as she avoided blood then she could manage it. To have Sam look at her like she was insane for doing this though? It hurt more than she cared to admit. "Do you think I'm naive?" Her soft features twisted into a mask of hurt and determination, the two warring states making her appear both younger and older all at once. "Are you trying to scare me by pointing out that I have a monster inside me?" It wasn't what he meant. A part of her knew that but he wasn't saying anything that hadn't tormented her thoughts on an almost daily basis since this began. "Why do you think I allow Ella to be with my mother when anyone with a brain knows she would be safer and better cared for with me?" This was the thing Jules hated about bringing more people into her circle of trust. The questions and the judgement. The fact that they thought they could understand what it was she was going through, but they never really could. She didn't turn into a coyote. She craved blood. "Blood bags." She repeated, looking at him like he should have known that she'd considered this. "From a hospital, or a blood bank? The kind of places that keep blood on hand because people need it?" She knew Sebastian used them but Jules knew full well that for every bag she took, that was another person that might not survive an accident or surgery. "My options are a little limited here, Sam." Her metaphorical heels digging in now. "I either use blood bags, and I live with the fact that I'm stealing from people who need that blood, or I bite people and I have to deal with the fact that every time I do - I want more. And my bite makes them want more too and I have no idea if it's me they want, or if it's just the bite making them think they do." Like Mal, who even said he would help her again after all was said and done but did he want to help her? Or did some part of him just want the bite? Even if it was the former? She didn't know if they could stop the next time. "So forgive me for trying to find a way to do this that allows me to live with myself." Her vision blurring with hot, angry tears that spoke more of her fear than anything else. Grimacing as the sweet facade of the woman he had been walking home with seemed to disappear, and was replaced with something angrier, Sam felt himself cringing. Had he have not been drinking, then he might have put things a little more delicately to her, he might have tried to gently convince her to see his point. Instead, he had seemingly stormed right into the conversation and done as much damage as a bull would do in a China store. Apparently, from the way that she was reacting, these were all facts that she seemed to already know. She seemed to be acutely aware of the danger in front of her, she seemed to realise just quite how high the stakes were. All facts that made him feel about as goddamn bad as it was possible for him to feel at that moment. "Your options are not limited, Jules" he attempted to reason with her, ducking his head so that she could look him directly in the eye as he spoke. No one deserved to be alone, and if something was becoming painfully obvious to him, it was that she was a girl that was far more alone in this world then he had even realised. She had no guidance, no one she could rely on who would hold her hand with these sorts of things, hell it seemed as though she didn't really have much of anyone she could talk to about what she was going through. "There are services that exist for......Strigele and like that deliver blood bags to people like yourself who need them" he attempted to explain, knowing that he was making a mess out of it all. "They don't take blood away from places like hospital, as these services exist to keep part of the population fed. You can satisfy your hunger, without having to worry about anything. I'm just trying to say that there are better ways of doing this, babe. You don't have to hurt yourself to protect others" Jules opened her mouth to protest his argument but then he was there, forcing her to look at him so she couldn't unleash another string of heated words in his direction. Not that her anger could be taken that seriously. Not when you looked like Jules. Even when she was furious, which in this instance, she wasn't, Jules looked more like an angry kitten than a ferocious lion. Now, more than either of those things? She looked more like a lost and scared little girl who was trying desperately to survive in a world that terrified her. ' It was clear the moment he said it that she'd never heard of such a thing. Confusion twisted her features as Sam tried to give her the information that she'd been sorely lacking all this time. That had been the hardest part of all of this, operating as blindly as she was. And now she had Kolt, who somehow knew less than she did. It was the blind leading the blind. Of course, none of this really helped the fact that she hated that she had a hunger at all. That there was something inside of her that needed satisfying or else she could be a danger to herself or others. And while hope sprang momentarily, Jules was already seeing a million flaws in this idea. Blood services would cost money. Money that she didn't have and there would be so many questions about why a girl who could walk around in the day, needed blood at all. "It's not that simple, Sam..." The bite gone from her voice now as Jules allowed herself to recognize that he was just trying to find a way to help her. It mattered, that he wanted to. That he didn't want her to suffer, but she somehow didn't think he wanted her to die either, and that was exactly what would happen if the wrong people found out about her. "The kind of people that would run a service like that? They can't know I exist." Jules silently begging him to understand what she was saying, without her having to actually say it. His brows furrowing in confusion for a moment, he looked down at her, searching her face for some sort of hint of what she was trying to get it. What did she mean that......oh. "You're in danger, aren't you?" he asked her, his grip on her arms lightening up as the realisation began to slowly wash over him. No wonder she worked so hard to try and live under the radar as much as she could. She didn't live a lavish lifestyle, she wasn't overly showy and she lived her life as humbly as she could in the most unassuming of ways. She could have easily have twisted people around her finger however she wanted too, she could have had so much of an easier life then this, and yet she did. "Christ, Jules" he said, shaking his head as he thought about taking her back to Waverly Downs of all places. If she was already in some sort of danger because of what she was, it certainly wasn't going to be helped by her living in an area known for crime and poverty. She needed to live somewhere with a bit more sense of community, a place where people looked out for each other. Running a hand through his hair, he could practically feel the blood pumping in his veins as he tried his best to consider options for her. There was no way on earth that she could live her life like this, not anymore, at least. "My blood" he repeated, as though it was the most obvious answer he could think of to a lot of these problems. "I'll figure out a way to fill blood bags myself at home. No need to use the services, no need to starve yourself. Also, being a shifter, I tend to recover from stuff like that quicker. We had a decent ability to heal" She saw it, the second all the pieces fell into place and he realized what she'd not been saying all along. Why she would look over her shoulder, worried who might overhear them. Why she wouldn't put a name to what she was while they were out in public and yes, even why she spent her life trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. It might have begun well before she knew she was something 'other', but it had become not just essential to keep her and Ella together. It had become her very means of survival. Jules' mouth pressed into a grim line, nodding slowly to confirm his revelation. She didn't want him to worry about her. To be another person who wished they could help but wasn't in a position to do so. It wasn't like he could be there 24/7, and even if he could? She wouldn't wantt to endanger him that way. "It's how I found out what I am... But I got, lucky I guess." Because Sebastian had been there. Had dispatched the three Strigele that had caught the scent of her freshly spilled blood. Had given her the necklace she wore that... well in truth, she didn't know what it did. Only that it was supposed to help her to remain hidden from his kind. "Sam..." The protest was on her lips before he could even get past the first two words of his solution. Her grim expression unwavering as she shook her head, already trying to dismiss his too generous offer. "I can't ask you to do that." It felt wrong, somehow, even if he was offering instead of her asking. It was exactly the sort of selfless thing she knew he would do, but it couoldn't be good for him. "It's too much... I won't risk you getting sick or hurt for me." Surely giving his blood for her would be a bad thing, especially with him being a Cop, shifter or not. Fucking Hell. As bad as he thought that this all might have been, every time that she seemed to open her mouth it seemed to get a lot worse. She was starving herself, living in a shitty apartment in a dangerous part of town, she was in danger, this was all such a complete and utter nightmare for a guy who spent his life watching out for others that he really didn't even know which of those things to start with. A hand moving to his forehead, he massaged his temples for a moment, his brain trying to wade through the haze of alcohol and the onslaught of information. Not helping her was not even an option, so if she thought that anything she had said to him might put him off, then she was sorely mistaken at this point. "First of all, you're not asking me to do shit, I am offering to help out a friend. A friend I sure as hell know would be offering the same in return to me, if I was in your position" he responded, rather confident of that fact, despite the little time that he had known her. "Secondly, we are getting you out of that apartment, as soon as we can get you out of that lease. If you're not safe already, you sure as hell should not be spending your time there. You need to be in a neighbourhood where people look out for one another. Tomorrow I'll come over with my truck, we can pack up your things and you can come and stay at mine until we find you something better. I have a couple of bedroom little place out towards Bridge Creek, you'll easily still be able to get to work" She had no idea the kind of hornets nest she'd just kicked over by simply telling him the truth. Jules, perhaps about to be relieved that as honest as she was being? She'd gone light on the facts. She just wasn't used to people caring that she had things going on with her. Shay did, of course, and Shay worried about her too. But Shay knew just how stubborn Jules could be and usually backed off after gaining little ground. Sam didn't have the same reservations where Jules was concerned. He hadn't been dealing with her evasion for years the way her best friend had. Jules opened her mouth to argue with him, but he had her on that one. Of course she would be the first to offer the same to him. God, she'd offered to let Kolt feed from her, even knowing what that would be like. Still, it was so much easier for her to give of herself than to take and she wanted to point out that it would be different if she were to give blood to Kolt than if Sam were to give it to her. She couldn't make the argument though, because Sam was giving her whiplash and Jules was struggling to keep up. Her confession of being in danger somehow turning into her moving out of her apartment and in with him?! "Sam!" She shook her head, desperately trying to form a coherent argument but hearing the counter for it before she could make it. Jules gaped like a goldfish, her cheeks turning pink as she struggled to make her case. "I can't just move in with you!" Was apparently the best she could come up with. "And I can't afford anywhere better - god, I can barely afford what I have now! Even if I get this job - If..." Allowing him to finish that thought for himself. Placing a hand on both of her shoulders once more, he looked at her sternly, trying his best to get the gravity of the situation across to her. How could she not see that staying in Waverly downs was a horrible mistake after everything that she had said to him? Hell, he wasn't a fan of her being there in the first place, and that was before he learnt that there was a legitimate risk to her safety. Christ, this girl was going to be the death of him, he could feel it already. "Jules, listen to me now. If Shay came to you and told you all the stuff you just told me, would you be happy about her going back to live in Waverly downs on her own? Wouldn't you be trying to get her to come stay with you? Wouldn't you be trying your best to give her a better life if you could?" he asked her, knowing what her response would likely be. There was also the subtle threat that came with mentioning her name too, because if Shay found out even half of the things she had just told him, then he was sure as hell she would be pushing her to go live with him for a while too. "My place is free, you can save up a deposit, and as for the whole job thing, I already gave you a decent suggestion on that" Jules raised her hands, half using them as a shield as she rubbed her eyes with her fingertips. Instinct telling her to reject his offer at all costs, even if reason told her she should simply accept. It went against the grain for somebody like Jules, however. To accept the help of another. To allow herself to be indebted to a person, even somebody like Sam. It had taken Jules a long time to even allow Shay to help her, and even then? It was always Shay insisting and Jules still felt uncertain if she felt the ledger was unbalanced. "Sam..." Her protest quieter this time under the weight of his presence. Jules feeling his desperation to help her coming through and it was tipping her off balance. "We don't even know that I'll get the job... and what about Ella?" Yes, Ella. This was one thing she couldn't see past. The most important person in all of this was Ella and while he might be signing up to help her? He wasn't asking to be responsible for a six year old. "I can't just leave her with Liz all the time." Realizing even as she was saying it, just how little he knew about her situation. "I - " She shook her head. "You don't know what you're signing up for." Letting go of her shoulders, Sam felt as though he could scream with frustration as she seemed to put forward reason after reason why it was all a wrong idea. He got that she was trying to not be a burden, but there was a difference between not being a burden and putting herself in way more unnecessary danger then she needed to be. Could she not see the benefits of getting out of that place, apart from the obvious? "I am not asking you to leave her with Liz all the time, but ask yourself this, where is a better place for Ella to come visit. A) Waverly Downs or B) A house in Bridge Creek with a back garden, where there are plenty of decent folk around?" he asked her, unsure of what part she was not getting in all of this. He wasn't asking her to simply see the benefits of what he was offering her. He was asking Jules to change who she was. Jules, who hated to rely on anyone because experience had taught her that people would only find a way to let her down. It was such a simple thing to Sam, but to Jules this was enormous. He was asking her to rely on him. To put her faith in him. To not just put her well-being in his hands, but Ella's as well. But when she tried to protest again, no words would come out. The anguish and indecision written on her features as she stared at Sam. Everything told her this was a terrible idea but she honestly didn't know if that was true anymore. Of course she'd rather have Ella somewhere better than where she was. Of course, she would have given anything to get away from Waverly Downs... but what if it didn't work out? What if he wanted to have a woman over and she had Ella there? There were a thousand what ifs and all of them had her stomach in knots... yet in the end all she could say? "Of course, I want something better for her." Stood on that darkened road, his eyes desperately trying to search his for some sign of hope, it was not completely lost on Sam quite what he was asking her. For a girl like her who had clearly been through more than he could ever really comprehend, the task was almost an insurmountable one, he was essentially asking for her to trust him. Running a hand along the side of his jaw, he looked out into the night, debating the different ways he could make her see sense. In his head, it made perfect sense for so many different reasons, but he couldn't blame her for being apprehensive, for being scared for the level of change. "Ok, so final offer. How about you come and stay with me, but keep your apartment for a few more weeks? If you really cannot stand living with me and it's not working, you can retreat home, nothing lost. If you find you like living with me, and it works for both of us, then you can look at giving up your lease and we move you into mine properly. What do you reckon?" How could she say no to him now? How, when he had an answer to every one of her concerns? When he countered her arguments every step of the way. She didn't have to worry about whether she trusted him with Ella, she already knew that she could. She didn't have to worry what would happen if it all fell apart, he was giving her a safety net. There were a million arguments that she still wanted to make, but she knew that all of them would be weak. And the overwhelming fact that her getting out of Waverly Downs would be better forever, was the one thing she just couldn't fight against. "I'm not staying with you rent-free." She began, raising a hand to stop the protest she was sure he'd make. "You let me worry about how I will pay rent at my apartment and to you but I'll only do it if you let me pay my own way. That means food and bills and whatever else comes up along the way." It was already too much for her to wrap her head around with him wanting to give her his blood. She didn't think she could cope with the weight of him taking care of her in other ways too. "You know this is insane, don't you?" Looking at Jules when she argued that she didn't want to live with him rent free, it took just about everything he had to not argue the heck back with her. He was a cop on a half way decent wage, living in a decently affordable part of town. She on the other hand was a waitress that probably didn't make in a month, what he probably cleared in a well and a bit. There was not a way in hell that he was going to take a penny off of her just yet, but that was an argument for another day. Pausing for a moment as though he was considering what she was saying, he tilted his head back and forth for good measure, before reluctantly nodding his head. "Deal" he eventually agreed, making it sound as though she had worn him down and not the other way around. "Yup, fully aware of it, but all the greatest adventures in life start with a step into the unknown" He was going to learn the hard way that Jules was stubborn. That she would pack her bags and go back to her crappy apartment in Waverly Downs, if he wouldn't take her money. The knockdown, dragout fights over this were inevitable and Sam wasn't nearly as charming as he thought it was when it came to a certain, stubborn, surprisingly feisty brunette. She scrutinized him closely as he considered it, though. Steeling herself for an argument that didn't come. Skeptical, but satisfied that he'd not easily accepted her terms and somehow managing to not look at all happy about this, despite the fact that she'd gotten her way. Living with Sam meant inviting another person into her life. In a way that was far more invasive than it was at present and already Jules could see a thousand problems that would arise, starting with the fact that she didn't need him playing parent to her or protective older brother to her. That was an argument for another day, however, because Jules had the distinct impression that if she tried to pick that fight now, she'd somehow find herself agreeing to a curfew and driving lessons as well. "Yeah... well. Seeing as this is your bright idea... you get to be the one to explain it to Shay." She allowed that sentence to hang there. For Sam to fully absorb the possible reaction Shay might have to her best friend moving in with the guy who was basically her training officer? And then she started walking toward her apartment. Leaving him with that thought as her own little slice of payback. If there was one thing Sam was pretty much certain of at this point, it was that this was going to be a learning experience for both of them. The last person he had lived with for more then a few weeks had been his ex Sarah, and well.... That had hardly been a resounding success in any definition of the word. Still, this was different, this was two friends living together, until one of them got on their feet. He was quite sure based on everything he one about Jules, she would likely only be with him for the barest amount of time she could possibly manage before she sorted herself a new place to live. Whatever happened though, as long as he could get her out of that place and set her along a better path, that was all he cared about. Still, as confident as he might have felt, it quickly dissipated at the thought of having to tell Shay. She hoped that he could convince her that it was a good idea for all involved without telling her exactly why. Still though, that was job for sober Sam, and boy would it suck to be him. "Shay will love it! Soo much closer to her now" he attempted to beam brightly. "I mean, I am clearly one of her favourite people at work, how could it be a bad idea?" The main reason Jules was even willing to agree to this, the obvious better for Ella reasons aside, was because she had always planned on trying to find a way out of Waverly Downs. Granted, her timeline had been a lot broader than say, tomorrow. But nobody she knew lived in Waverly because they wanted to. You were either born there or you fell there and then you spent your life trying to claw your way out of there. It was just a fact that people were more likely to give jobs and lease agreements to those with nicer zipcodes. Like, somehow, being poor also meant you were irresponsible. She still didn't like the imbalance of it all. The fact that even if she tried not to, she would be reliant on Sam. That at any point in time, he could have thrown her out and not only would she be starting from scratch, but Ella would be without a home that didn't have Liz and her boyfriend of the week living there. The fact that Jules knew Sam would never do that to her, didn't make her feel any better about it. This was still Jules having to rely on somebody other than herself, and it felt wrong. "Shay will like me being out of Waverly Downs. Shay will grill you over me staying with you." Especially when Shay had desperately tried to get Jules to move in with her... but Shay was not exactly earning big money as a Rookie cop and Shay was the kind of twenty-year-old who actually wanted to go out and enjoy her life. She didn't need to be 'saddled' with a six-year-old, even if she said differently. "And I really hope you mean that... seeing as she's likely to be spending a lot more time with you between work and coming to see Ella and I." If he wasn't going to make him second guess this with her own reasonable (to her) arguments. She was going to look for every drawback to throw at him between now and him turning up with his truck. Laughing as she again seemed to try and make him squirm at the thought of the third degree that he would get from Shay, he shook his head. "Oh god, I know it's coming up" he said holding a hand up in front of him. He knew full well that there would be likely at least one or two accusations about his intentions for their mutual friend, whether or not there were some inappropriate intentions there. Now that would probably be the most difficult of all of the questions he would have to answer. Sure, his intentions were pure in a lot of ways, she was a great woman, dead sweet and had seemed to have repeatedly gotten the rough end of things more then once. He really did want to help her; he really did want to try and give her a hand and help her escape that place. Were his feelings towards her strictly platonic? Well, that was a whole over conversation. While he would never have forced himself on her or expected anything from her in the way of gratitude and repayment, he would have been lying if he didn't at least admit to an attraction. H e was going to have to be careful with this though, because all it would take was one awkward running into each other at the wrong moment, or one of them entering a room without knocking and well....his attraction would likely become pretty darn obvious. "Jules, stop trying to talk both you and me out of this. You should realise by now, I'm as stubborn as hell when it comes to changing my mind when I've had a good idea, and this is a great one" he beamed at her, trying desperately to ignore the growing sense of nervousness about it all. Jules honestly hadn't considered the intentions side of the grilling. Though, knowing Shay perhaps she should have anticipated it. She just expected that Shay would have a million questions about why her best friend was living with him. As well as a lot of ridiculous rules that Jules would then insist that he could disregard. For Shay to question Sam's intentions would suggest that he had any in the first place; Something Jules didn't think Shay of all people would be stupid enough to believe. "Well..." She did her best to look cross but Jules was never particularly convincing with such things. Her angry kitten syndrome forever making it impossible to take it seriously. "So am I. And I still think this is a bad idea." Except she had agreed to it, which means she clearly didn't think it would be too bad. "Just..." She stopped again. Needing to say this. Even if a part of her knew it was useless. "Promise me if you're not happy with the whole situation you'll say something." Another hand raised, Jules again anticipating the argument he might make. "You're a nice guy Sam. Maybe one of the rare, genuinely nice guys that I have met." Of which she could really only confidently count two on that list and one of them she'd only just met. "The kind of nice who could be going crazy with some girl and more often than not, her sister living with you and wouldn't say anything." That was the thing that bothered her almost more than needing to rely on somebody else for anything. The thought of being a burden to him. Jules already knew that she was going to go out of her way to make her presence as inconspicuous as possible in the house. Though this was easier said than done on the nights when Ella would be there. "I just... I mean I could always sleep on Shay's couch, okay?" As much as she hated that idea as well? At least if he knew she had somewhere safe to go, he might be willing to be honest. Wrinkling his nose, a little as she referred to him as a nice guy, he desperately tried to resist the urge to laugh too much at that moment. "God, remind me to never introduce you to my ex, she'd quickly give you a real different side of me that might be enough to make you want to retract that comment all together. She always said that I did nothing but complain and be grumpy until I got my first coffee in my stomach in the morning" Finally approaching the familiar sight of Speedy's diner in the close distance, Sam tilted his head to look at Jules. As much as he wanted to insist on walking her to her front door to ensure that she got home ok, whether she would allow him beyond this point was another thing all together, especially with how she seemed to think that he was putting himself out already on her account. "Now, Miss Walker, the question is could I tempt you with a cup of coffee? Or, would you like to get straight home?" he asked her, testing the waters for what option she might have gone for. At least now that they were most of the way here, he liked to think that she was somewhat safer then when they had initially set out on their nighttime journey. "Could always leave house planning to another day if you have to be tucked up in bed. God knows you must be exhausted from listening to me yapping on all evening about my issues" "From what little you have told me about your ex? I think it's safe to say I won't give much weight to her opinion." Jules momentarily serious as she highlighted that fact. She was sure that Sam was not without his faults; His inability to let her talk her way out of staying with him, top of that list right now, but even she couldn't say that because it annoyed her, it was a flaw. He was coming from a good place and perhaps she should have known that the second she spelled out the danger she was in just by existing, he would of course want to help, because that's who he was. Sam always struck Jules as the type who would give the shirt off his back to help somebody. "I figure you can't be any worse than Ella in the mornings." She might love her sister dearly, but she was not quite as adorable as she seemed to be when you were trying to get her up and moving for school. With Speedy's in sight, she knew she probably should have just continued on her way home... but the whole reason they were taking this walk, was not because Jules had wanted the company, but because she had wanted to be sure that he was okay to go home. Sure she could make him call an Uber and watch him get in, but she'd feel better if he had at least a little food and some coffee in him. Maybe then he'd sober up enough to realize that her staying with him was a terrible idea... "You weren't yapping about your issues, Sam." If anything, it had not escaped her that he'd managed to make most of the evenings conversation about her "And I'm in no hurry to go home." She'd actually liked talking to him, even if it had threatened to turn her world upside down in the process. Ducking his head down at her comment about his ex, he chuckled softly, giving her a coy look as he did. She really did seem to know how to say the sweetest of things to him. Having spent so long being browbeaten for one reason or another by Sarah, it was so refreshing to have another person in his life that didn't seem to constantly try to drag him down for being the way he was. Sure, he was caring and yes that could make him come across as a little soft at times, but that was just the type of person he was. He hated having to feel like he constantly needed to apologise or explain. "Ohhh you haven't seen me before the coffee pot has had a chance to run in the morning, I am a grumpy, miserable son of a bitch" he joked, giving her a small nudge with his shoulder. "With you and the little one around, I'll try my best to be at least the family friendly, Disney version of that" Moving slowly towards the door of Speedy's, he held the door open for her and gestured for her to go in front of him. He might have been a little tipsy, but he was hardly going to go and forget his manners all of a sudden. "I was....I just........I thought that I was doing well...I thought I was moving past all of this, and I guess I am not quite as past it all as I thought I was" She didn't think she was being sweet, just honest, though perhaps that was the same thing in some ways. Few people would be so out of fear it would sound like their interest in the other person was more than friendly. Jules felt a freedom in knowing that Sam just didn't see her that way. She could speak from the heart while safe in the knowledge he saw her more like a kid sister he needed to protect, rather than somebody he could take an interest in. Still, all the things that apparently made him less than in his exes eyes? They were the very things that made Sam better than most men. Jules offered him an indulgent smile, but honestly until she experienced it firsthand, she wouldn't believe it. "If I can handle longhaul truckers at 3am? I think I can handle you." A smile softening her features over something as small as him considering Ella in that way. Outside of Jules, Ella didn't have enough people in her life who would try to put her needs and well-being first. Jules only hoped that while they were staying with him, the little girl didn't get too attached. Jules went to open the door for herself, a habit more than anything. Surprised, though very pleasantly so when he held the door open for her. Manners. She'd almost forgotten about those but she was pleased to see it wasn't lip service. That Sam continued to prove himself to be the guy she thought him to be - pedestal and all. Jules caught the raised eyebrows of one of the waitresses Jules worked with from time to time. The same one who had been on while Jules had met with Kolt and god, she knew how this must look to her. She shot the woman a look that screamed 'don't start', using Sam's words to draw her back to the conversation as she moved toward one of the booths at the back of the diner. "I don't think you ever get past something that big." Not that she could relate in quite the same way but she could in her own way. "I think... maybe it's a little like a death. You need to grieve the life you imagined having with a person?" It was a question, though, because when it came to romance? "Or maybe that just sounds stupid. Relationships are a little out of my area of expertise." Following after Jules into the Diner, slightly tipsy from his drinking at the bar earlier, it was easy for Sam to not notice the way that people looked at him as he entered with her. Normally his combination of cop and shifter senses would have been abuzz at such attention, but lured into a false sense of security from the evening, he remained unaware. As far as he was concerned they were simply looking at a work colleague who happened to be strolling in later then normal. There was no reason for the man to suspect anything untoward. Taking a seat at booth, he pulled out a menu and set it out in front of him, relaxing back into the cushion at the back, he let out a small sigh. Having spent as long as he had on his feet, he had not realised just quite how tiring the evening was, how mentally and physically drained he was from the walking and talking. Looking up at Jules as she spoke, he sighed, rubbing his hand with his face for a moment. "No, that's exactly what it feels like, it feels like someone died but I've not been allowed to be sad about it, because she has already moved on" he responded with a small shrug of his shoulders. "Also, don't get down on yourself, it's a profound point. Don't let anyone think any differently of you" Truthfully, most of the women Jules worked with were gossips, so their attention she expected. The cops who came in on shift change? Well she merely ducked her head when she felt their gazes upon her, focused intently on steering them both to a booth. Maybe going home would be a better idea, but she was grateful now that she'd chosen not to. That Sam was finall ready to talk about his ex - the very thing he seemed to have been avoiding until this moment. "Who says you can't be sad about it?" Her gaze thoughtful as she laid her wrists on against the table. The ends of her cardigan curled over her hands in a weak attempt to usher some warmth back into her fingertips. "Her choices shouldn't dictate how you feel." She offered gently. Maybe Jules didn't know much when it came to relationships, but she did understand grief. She knew only too well what it felt like to have your whole world turned upside down and not be able to do anything but exist in the fallout zone. Still, Jules hates that of all people, it was Sam who was feeling this way. It just didn't seem fair or right than somebody who always seemed to care so much about others, could be shown such a lack of care in return. Then again, if anyone should know something about that? It should be Jules. "And I'm not -" Quick to want to stop him from making this about making her feel better. "It's more... I know I don't really know how it feels. But I know that feelings aren't something you can help and there isn't a timeline for dealing with them." Her own Father had been gone for almost ten years now, and still not a day went by where she didn't desperately miss him. When she didn't have those moments where her chest ached with the thought of wishing she could see him again. Signalling a waitress with a trademark wide smile, he ordered himself a large mug of coffee and a slice of apple pie, before allowing Jules to place her order too. If he was going to have to talk about his feelings with someone, then it was best done not on an empty stomach. As nice as Jules liked to keep insisting, he was, he knew what a dick he could be on an empty stomach, hungry coyotes did not make for happy and balanced people. Still, as he sat back in the booth, he found himself considering the question Jules had posed to him. Who said he couldn't be sad about it? It was stupid of him to punish himself, really, especially the way things had ended so bitterly and the fallout of everything that had transpired. He had lost a future that he had been working hard towards, and his entire life had changed overnight. "I know...I guess I didn't feel like I could grieve it, as I partially felt like I deserved it? I mean, I know we are both cops and we both worked long hours, but I couldn't help but wonder if it had been different if I took more time off, insisted harder we worked similar shifts and all that" Sighing softly, he scraped a hand through his short hair, his eyes moving out of the window. Looking thoughtfully out of the window, his gaze slowly turned back to be directed at Jules. "I guess I just thought if I had put miles between the pair of us, it would somehow help. Though, I think I've just been avoiding dealing with how I felt about everything, the way things ended" he explained with a small shrug. Ignoring her colleague's inquiring look between the pair of them as she took their order, Jules simply ordered a coffee. Grateful to have a beverage that would warm her hands while she tried to work heat back into them by hiding them beneath the sleeves of an oversized cardigan. Speedy's was never quite as warm as you wanted it to be, but she'd chosen a booh located near one of the heating vents for a reason. She'd worked here long enough to be aware of all the little tricks that made this place more comfortable. "Nobody deserves something like that, Sam." Her voice gentle as concern filled her hazel eyes. Instinct telling her to reach for his hand but she was trying not to impose herself on him too much. "You can look back and see all the things that maybe you could have done better, but mistakes don't make the hurt any less real.... And she could have done those things too." Yet instead of working at the relationship, she'd gone and found somebody else. Choosing to cheat rather than admit to Sam that she just wasn't happy. Jules might be a lot of things, but cheating? She was loyal to people she wasn't even romantically involved with. She couldn't fathom doing such a thing herself. "Because sometimes it's easier to avoid." She acknowledged, the hit of a wry smile teasing the corner of her mouth because that she understood. More so than ever when it came to dealing with what she was. "I don't think there's a right or wrong way to deal with things. We just... do what we have to do to get through it. Even if that means burying our heads in the sand." Like she was trying to reassure him that what he had done as well as what he felt now was okay. "Nobody gives you a handbook for dealing with this stuff." She was right, he knew that she was right, and yet as much as he wanted the believe it was true, he just couldn't quite bring himself to do it. He held a lot of guilt about it all, feelings as though he could have made it all better if he had just done something different. Not allowing things to end the way that they had and it resulted in him moving miles away from anyone that he knew. Still, there was no point in dragging poor, sweet Jules down to his level. Not when this was very much about trying to lift her up, to try and make things better for her. "No, I am sure you are right" he nodded his head, trying his best to seem as convincing as possible towards her. Taking a sip from his coffee, he paused to allow it to warm his hands before looking up at her. Realising he might have come across as slightly forceful at times an intense sense of guilt filling him up. "On the whole moving in thing, I just want you to know that you're not obliged to move in if you didn't want. I just...you occur to me as the type of person who has not had the easiest of lives, and yet it has never seemed to really take away the light in you. I just....I think you deserve a break, I would like to be the guy who gave you that break you needed" Jules had been slowly resigning herself to the idea that maybe, this might be a good thing. That it wouldn't be so bad if she were to stay with Sam for a bit until she could find something she could afford. It would be better for Ella. Safer even, and while she couldn't see the sense in doing it for herself, she could always be convinced that if it was for her sister's sake, it would be okay. Except... then Sam started talking about how her life can't have been easy. And how she deserved a break, and in an instant it stopped being about her safety or Ella's. It started feeling a lot like a pity offer and her whole demeanor appeared to change right before his eyes. Tension bunched her shoulders up as the grip on her cup tightened. The coffee within, almost burning her skin as the storm clouds rolled in to darken her features. "I don't need you to feel sorry for me, Sam." Jules slid the cup closer as she tucked her arms against her chest. Staring at the contents as she started to imagine all the ways that he must see her. The poor little girl with her dead Daddy and her burnout mom. The meek little thing that can't dig herself out of poverty no matter what she did. "And I don't need people to give me a break. I work two, sometimes three, even four jobs so I can have my own place. I feed and clothe my sister. I pay for her after-school activities. I give her the life my Dad gave me and I do it all without needing people to prop me up." Her tone, firm, yet she didn't once raise it in anger. It was her damned pride more than anything, foolish as it was. He just sincerely wanted to help her and when she thought it was about his need to see her safe? It was one thing but because he felt sorry for her and thought she needed a break? "I'll be just fine without your charity. Ella and I both will." If Sam could have taken back anything he had said in his life, then he was pretty sure that this moment would be one he would have taken back in a heartbeat. He had honestly not mean to frustrate or anger her int eh way that he had clearly done, he had honestly meant the words that he had said about wanting to help get her on her feet a little. Massaging his temples for a moment, resisting the urge to shout and get angry, something that was generally a default position for him, he paused to collect his thoughts. God, this would have been far easier for him if he had not drunk the amount that he had. Looking up at her, he let out an exasperated noise, before shaking his head. "Yes, Jules, we all get it, you can do it all and you do not need anyone at all. You can carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and barely break up a sweat" he responded; annoyance clear in his tone. Fingers toying with his coffee cup for a moment, he brought the vessel to his lips, drinking a few large mouthfuls of the burning liquid, before placing it back down on the table. "For the record though Jules, nothing about this is charity. You said multiple times just moments ago that you intend on paying you way, probably more generously than I'd be comfortable with, lets face it. So, apart from essentially just offering you a slightly preferential house mate situation to get you out of a dangerous building, where you stand a better chance of building a better standard of living, there is no charity" he responded. Drawing himself onto his feat, he dropped a note down on the table to pay for the coffees plus tip, before dropping an extra ten down for her to get a cab the rest of the way home if she needed it. "Take care Jules" he said, before turning on his heel and heading out of the door into the cold night air. She wasn't sure how she was expecting him to respond, but the moment that exasperated sound left his mouth, the shutters came down on her eyes. Jules sitting perfectly still as if in becoming a statue, she could disappear completely from existence. Even as his jabs hit home, she showed no response to what he had said. The slight brunette before him furiously building up invisible walls as if she could keep his words from touching her. Instead, she stared at a patch of discoloration on the laminate finish table. The coffee cup scalding her soft hands as Sam's annoyance with her radiated off him. Such a painful contrast to the man who had walked her arm in arm to the diner. It was a side of Sam that she'd never seen before and it was just easier for Jules not to engage him. Shutting down so completely that she looked like a husk sat at the table; Stiff and brittle. Unyielding in every regard. The burn helped her to steel her spine as she allowed his words to roll off her. Incapable of taking them in without having some sort of outward, emotional response. She wouldn't even look at him as he stood up and started tossing money on the table. The ten dollars that was so clearly meant for her, rubbing in salt to her very wounded pride. It was all she could do to just breathe in and out. To try and calm the storm that whipped up in her chest. Those storm clouds refusing to disperse even after Sam had left her sitting alone in the diner. Still, she made no move to leave immediately. Waiting long enough until she thought that he would be gone. Until it would be safe for her to disappear into the night and back to the solitude of her apartment. This was why she never allowed people to get close. It was just easier to keep things boxed up. Just her and Ella. And Shay, she could acknowledge. Allowing others to stand on the outskirts but never penetrate her world completely. There would be no job. No moving out. No yard for Ella to play in but at least this way she wouldn't have to owe anyone anything. At least this way she could control the situation without having to worry every day whether this would be the day Sam - or anybody, would pull the rug from underneath her. Speedy's wasn't great, but it was an evil that she knew too well and Waverly Downs? These dark streets might well be dangerous but she knew them at least. When Jules finally did allow herself to push the cup away, the contents had stopped burning her hands. The ten dollars left on the table as Jules wrapped her cardigan tightly around herself and left without a word of acknowledgement to her colleague. And then like Sam, she disappeared into the cold night air. Starting on that ten minute walk back to her apartment.